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Living Together With Family Essays

Living Together Essay

These days seem to be times of relativism. There seem to be no real morals, no real sense of commitment. This is also a time where there is a proliferation of couples living together, either before marriage, or in lieu of it. This is a symptom of the non-committal society in which we live. There is, however, no good reason to live together. In act, there is a case against it.

One of the reasons often given to justify living together is to get to know the person before marriage. This is to "test the waters" and look into compatibility on various levels, including sexual. What is interesting is that this method has done little or nothing to improve divorce rates. In fact, they seem to be worse. In the United States, 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. If this "getting to know you" strategy was actually valid, this statistic would be a lot lower, but it is not. One reason is that the relationship is beginning with a non-committed attitude. They couple is going into the relationship to see how it goes, and fully willing to jump out at the first hints of real problems. This behavior is not challenged in the living together phase, and thus is carries over when the couple actually does get married. They have never had the skills developed to handle real problems in a committed fashion.

Another reason living together is not a good idea is that there is sex before, or without, marriage. Keeping religious arguments out of the picture for the time being, is still can be argued that this is not a good idea. Again, what we have here is an example of "putting the cart before the horse". The idea of sexual intimacy is just that, intimacy. Intimacy also carries with it the responsibility of commitment. A couple can not be really intimate (emotionally close) without that. Additionally, there are certain consequences of sex, including having children. This then becomes a problem, one that very often tests the commitment level of the couple. The number of children born out of wedlock increases every year, and the number of single parents is closely following this rising pattern. This...

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Want your kids to behave and exhibit better social skills? Want your wife not to yack your head off or your husband to be more verbally affectionate?

Try Family Bonding Time.

What is Family Bonding Time?

Family bonding time is time the family spends together meaningfully. This is a designated time your family plans to interact with each other over a group of activities or a major fun project.

Beneficial Effects of Spending Time Together:

Family members learn how to listen and work together. Children learn how to behave in society by watching their parents interact with each other and with the world. Family bonding times are a great way to model expected behaviors inside the family circle and with others in the community.  Modeling expected behaviors is also a great way for the parents in the family to learn how to communicate to each other as well.

Promising your personal time at least one day out of the week will help members in your family gain a sense of self worth. Children that have guardians that take the time with them, begin to assign value to their family time. Children that do not have a sense of family values are more likely to be influenced by friends that do not necessarily have their best interests at heart.

Communications between family members improve. Parents often admit frustration when it comes to communication. Their children are not open, untrustworthy, do not listen or lack understanding between talker and listener.  Bonding time can help eliminate some of the frustration.  Parents can use this time to relate their childhood to an adolescent just beginning his childhood interactions.  Parents know the same trials have weathered us all. The amount of temptation and the sources of these hindrances are the only things that really change.

As important as it is to impart wisdom, it is just as important to be an active listener as well. While everyone is together, sometimes it’s just as important to redirect attention towards your family and ask “What’s going on with you?”

Children improve relationships and bond to their family members. Making a habit of displaying interest in the well being of your spouse and children will make them more likely to consult family members when there are personal problems occurring.

Actively strengthening family bonds reinforces mutual respect. Children will find you can get more done with good behavior and not by acting out. Adults will find authority is followed more willingly when a child wants to do their best for them. Children will use less talking back as their view of their family unit improves.

There are some partners that don’t understand why their spouses have so much to say to them. Women are verbal and if their husbands often skip opportunities for their wives to vent, it builds up. Too much nervous or aggressive tension can lead to verbal overload in any gender.

Men have the same problem and often take out their need to vent through physical tasks. Men tend to be more aggressive verbally and more avoidant until they believe they have resolved the matter bothering them.

Dominating a conversation or behaving aggressive is disrespectful in a familial relationship. Designating time together will help eliminate these very bad ways of dealing with stress.  This does not mean your spouse can only talk during family time. The opportunity to discuss matters by both spouses will help release any emotional tensions that lead to bad behavior.

Doing a creative project and discussing what is going on in each member’s life is a good way to encourage release.

Many couples have problems diffusing the stress that arises while on their jobs. Talking about how to diffuse those problems can help partners come home happier and have healthier emotional statuses.

Members learn to value one another and are less likely to hurt each other. Families that encourage bonding time, multiple times a week, often say their children have an easier time away from home. Children that do not have to compete with a computer, television, phone or activity for parental attention have an easier time conducting themselves when their parents are not around. Children that know they have a reasonable amount of their parents’ attention do not try to gain it in disruptive dangerous ways.

Ways to Share Family time Together:

Plan an outing to the park together and play games, go on a nature hike and make a picnic together.

Go to the museum and have everyone pick out a list of things they wish to see.

Plan a meal made from new recipes or another culture. Set the table according to the cultural traditions and share a discussion about similarities and differences.

Build a model plane or make a soapbox racer together. Work on a project together that is easy for everyone to contribute. Motivate your children to discuss how their subjects in school make contributing to the project easier.  Encourage children to use their talents or their abilities to making the project special.

(credit: Joyce Naltchayana/AFP/Getty Images)Family time can include doing some good in your community. These families planted trees for a veteran memorial.

Ways to Incorporate Family Bonding Time Everyday:

  • At meal times encourage spouse and children to discuss what they plan to do, what problems they may be having or whatever is on their minds.
  • If you drive your spouse and children to most of their destinations, use those times to listen to them or play games perfect for car trips.
  • At home parents can ask children to help them do the chores and make a game of it. Children can clean their rooms by playing hamper hockey. Siblings can take turns using brooms to move their dirty clothes into laundry baskets or hampers. Couples can find working together very stress relieving and have found ways to ease romance in.  Some spouses reward each other with a sexy back rub, favorite food or some other highly cherished activity.

The list is only limited by your imagination. There are a million and one ways to make time with your family meaningfully. You have nothing to lose and only your family’s closeness to gain.

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